I’m afraid I’ve created a monster when it comes to the dinner table. Allow me to elaborate…my childhood habits and the genetics I’ve passed on to my child have come back to bite me! When I was a small child, my mother and I battled every single night; the source of our epic conflict? Me….completing the daunting task of eating the food on my plate. Such a simple thing to ask a child right? Wrong….not when that child was me. I would sit at the table for hours in front of my plate full of food, while my poor mother tried everything in her power to convince her stubborn child to eat. I pulled out all the stops; scooting all the food to one side of the plate, hiding it in my napkin and under the placemat, even taking a bite and going to the “bathroom” where I would throw it away in the trash can.
Fast-forward thirty years; except this time I’m the frustrated mom trying to convince my sweet three year old son to at least eat two bites of his dinner. I mean really! I’m not even asking him to finish his plate! I just want him to swallow his food!
Much to my dismay, the child would rather sit at the table for an hour with his food stuffed in one cheek, with tears streaming down his face, instead of chewing it up, swallowing it, and being done with it. Hmmm….he gets his stubborn disposition from someone….I wonder who…..
As I watched my little guy torture himself in our most recent dinner table confrontation, by refusing to chew his food, making his predicament so much more painful than it needed to be, I couldn’t help but relate his struggle to the ones we can all face from time to time in our lives.
The struggle I am referring to is the one we seem to have with the person who can be our biggest, most powerful nemesis….ourselves.
Have you ever known someone who is struggling in a situation in their life, and you, being the “objective party” can see clearly that they are their own worst enemy. Their habits, their mindset, or even their actions are working against the end-goal, but there’s no way to reason with them.
No doubt, this is a horrible situation to be in….but have you ever taken the time to take the astute observations you made with someone else, and apply them to yourself? Have you ever taken the time to look at your own circumstances and see if you could potentially be doing the same thing to yourself?
We’re all human, which means we all struggle in life from time to time, and it also means we have the potential to become our own worst enemy and make situations much harder than what they need to be. Not sure how to tell? Here are some signs to look for.
4 Tell-Tale Signs That You’ve Become Your Own Worst Enemy
1. You Constantly Find Yourself Hiding Behind Excuses When Things Don’t Go Your Way
Intuitively, it may make sense to us to make excuses for why we fail, or things don’t work out the way we’d hoped, or why mistakes were made. It’s self preservation at its finest…right? Wrong. By hiding behind excuses, we allow ourselves to escape the accountability that is so necessary for us to move on and grow from the circumstances we experience.
The next time you find yourself in an unfavorable situation, instead of making excuses for why things happened the way they did, look for the real reason things went south and address it head on. Face the demons so to speak. When you can be real with yourself, you can make real progress in moving forward.
2. You Notoriously Blame Others for Your Misfortunes
It’s so easy and convenient to point the finger at everyone else around you instead of owning your own responsibility in a situation. No matter how much wrong someone else may have done, there is always an opportunity to own your role in things. If we don’t, we develop a toxic state of mind called “victim mentality.”
The bottom line is simple. No matter what external forces are working against us, the person ultimately responsible for how all of them influence your thoughts, actions, and beliefs is you.
3. You Fill Your Vocabulary with “If Only’s”
Two words that can ultimately be the catalyst to your demise. Life is never perfect, there is always going to be a better option, an easier path, or a more feasible way. “If only” never goes away, because things could always be potentially better when those two words consume your vocabulary. So, get rid of them. Learn the value of adapting and overcoming with what you have. Trust that the resources that are available to you are exactly what you need to make it work. The bigger purpose to things may not present itself right away…but eventually it will, as long as you don’t clutter your perspective with those two little words…
4. You’re Habitually Overly Critical of Yourself
Being transparent, this is where I personally struggle the most. If I’m not careful, I can easily become my own worst critic. This is a slippery slope; while it’s healthy to be open to ways to improve, if you’re so critical of your actions that you don’t recognize growth and achievement, then you never allow yourself to be “good enough.” The danger in this is stealing your own joy. It’s impossible to be perfect, so why hold yourself to an impossible standard? Strive for excellence, and be happy with your very best, even when it falls short of perfection.
Life is filled with many opportunities to go to battle with the all-powerful worst enemy named “Self.” You will surely meet this infamous villain once or twice along the way, and when you do, remember to arm yourself with the tools to recognize the biggest weapons he or she may use against you. When you do, you’ll walk away the champion of one of the most difficult battles to fight.
Is there a time in your life when you recognized you were your own worst enemy?